coverpeople

Yisroel Roll is an incredible writer, and has filled this book with motivation and encouragement that drives the reader to fix themselves in order to fix their marriage.  Shut Up and Stay Married is a wonderful book, and one that should be required reading for all married couples.

Terri-Blog-From These Hollows


The author’s insights are a breath of much-needed fresh air.

I recommend this book highly to anyone who seeks to improve any relationship.

E. Edelson


This book offers wonderful advice about  personal growth/awareness of  the positive self  and  how to extend it to your spouse and children. I found several nuggets that I will be using daily.

Pia Bernardino


If you give Yisroel Roll’s “Shut Up And Stay Married” a chance, there is a good chance that you will be able to put the brakes on a slipping marriage. I highly recommend this book to any married couple -- and also to parents of adolescents.

-Sylvia Cochran-Families Online Magazine

From Amazon.com Readers...


(5.0 out of 5 stars)

Shut Up and Stay Married: The Secret to Marriage Success is the fifth book by Yisroel Roll, a psychotherapist, divorce mediator, and motivational speaker.

In this book, the author teaches the reader the secret of a successful marriage: to Shut Up. "Shut up?" you ask? I know, I thought it was a weird concept as I began to read the book and asked myself "Surely he doesn't mean that we should let digs and rude comments continue without question." But, no, it turns out that the author means that one shouldn't respond to a negative comment with a negative comment, and we should not dwell on them. He introduces a way of communicating with a spouse, or a child, that would not cause the other party to become more defensive. Such simple concepts like using "I" instead of "You" (i.e. "I feel embarrassed when...." instead of "You embarrass me") would work wonders in a relationship, and allow both parties to earn and give respect and trust once again.

The book teaches the reader that it is crucial to feel positive about one's self, to respect ourselves, and recognize our personal character strengths and weaknesses. Once we've achieved that, it would be easier to "Shut Up and Stay Married". Once we learn to become emotionally independent, our relationship would be more harmonious. This book teaches the reader how to accomplish that.

Yisroel Roll is an incredible writer, and has filled this book with motivation and encouragement that drives the reader to fix themselves in order to fix their marriage. Not only can these practices be used with a spouse, but also in how we communicate with our own children. He has filled the pages with advice on just that subject. The reader will learn how to stop criticizing, stop lecturing, how to empower our children, motivate them to change, and more.

Shut Up and Stay Married is a wonderful book, and one that should be required reading for all married couples.

- Terri


(5.0 out of 5 stars)
Great advice - for all relationships, May 5, 2011

This review is from: Shut Up and Stay Married (Paperback)
With today's prevailing attitude of the "disposable marriage", Rabbi Roll's insights are a breath of much-needed fresh air. Positivity and constructive communication can work wonders in any relationship - as my grandmother often says, one can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar. I have adopted many of the mindsets and techniques in this book, and I have seen a marked improvement in my relationship with my husband, my children, and even with my parents.

I reccommend this book highly to anyone who seeks to improve any relationship.

May the author go from strength to strength!

-E. Edelson "Zionista" (Baltimore, MD, USA)


(4.0 out of 5 stars)
Are you married? If so, then, you know the feeling of utmost fulfillment to be with that one person you are meant to be with (personally, I refer to him as my God's gift) and with that comes along all the challenges in being with that same person as well.

If you are looking for a one stop shop solution to a lifelong quest into staying married, then this is not it because there is no such thing. Instead, this book gives us sensible guidelines in discovering a persons self worth and how to provide the same respect, trust, caring and support to your spouse. These are not all new ground breaking formulas, rather, they are told in the author's perspective and expertise which I liked and truly respect as he is direct and easy to comprehend. I found the success charts, wheel of strength, gratuity lists to be highly effective. This book offers wonderful advise into personal growth/awareness into the positive self (as opposed to the negative self), how to extend it to your spouse and children.

Shut Up and Stay Married provides insights into realizing a persons value, how to successfully be with your beloved and live in harmony.

It is not unusual when I tell friends that I've read a book in a day. Well, given that this book is about a hundred pages long, I managed to finish it on my shuttle ride to work which was about 30 minutes. I found several nuggets that I will be using daily.

-Pia Bernardino

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Link:

http://piabernardino.com/somanybooksheresmine/?p=417

SHUT UP AND STAY MARRIED

by Yisroel Roll

Are you married? If so, then, you know the feeling of utmost fulfillment to be with that one person you are meant to be with (personally, I refer to him as my God’s gift) and with that comes along all the challenges in being with that same person as well.

If you are looking for a one stop shop solution to a lifelong quest into staying married, then this is not it.  Instead, this book gives us sensible guidelines in discovering a persons self worth and how to provide the same respect, trust, caring and support to your spouse.

Read more: So Many Books...

On Goodreads.com...

Shirley's review
Jul 26, 11

5redstars

When one in two marriages ends in divorce, there must be something we are missing. Shut Up and Stay Married could be the essential guide to making that ratio change for the better. Herein lie lessons from an author who practices as a psychotherapist, offering couples and families methods of bringing love, equality, honesty and trust into the union. When couples learn to communicate with the other person's feelings in mind, not out of spite, but rather with an attitude of wanting to understand, then it becomes less of an argumentative relationship and more of a union based on love and respect. There's a lot to be learned for many, if not all the readers. Take your time, try the exercises and communicate over the teachings herein. It can make a world of difference to you and your relationships.

Families Online Magazizne

What do you get when a motivational speaker, lawyer, divorce mediator and psychotherapist – all rolled into one – writes a book on marriage relationships? A book entitled “Shut Up And Stay Married.” Author Yisroel Roll self-identifies as a “creative” psychotherapist, but I would go a little further and consider him a mastermind with a ‘hot air’ radar that would most likely put my sainted grandmother to shame.

Having seen the midst of divorce and its aftermath during his professional endeavors, he knows that a mere dissolution of marriage very rarely holds the answer to what is wrong in a relationship. Serially divorced and remarried Americans are sure to concur that not all of their spouses could have been the problems. Instead, the author identifies as the only constant in failing relationships … you.

Shut Up And Stay Married” encourages the reader to take a long hard look at the body whose hand is pointing an accusing finger at a (supposedly) errant spouse, and then shut up. Yisroel Roll seeks to foster a sense of emotional independence in the reader, which encourages him or her to grow up and stop placing blame on a spouse for shortcomings, feelings of unfairness and empty spots that no human being could reasonably be expected to fill. The book also takes to task the amorphous concept of “love,” which is defined by books and TV, but which truly cannot be pigeonholed.

Read more: Families Online Magazine

MY BOOKSHELF

Have you ever had the "foot in mouth" syndrome?  You say something, criticize, advise, correct, or whatever, but it only works to make things worse, resulting in just the opposite of what you had hoped.  Did you ever stop to think that it might be how you said it or what you said.  That sometimes "silence is golden?"

I learned a lot from this book which can be read through rather quickly but I'd advise reading it a little more leisurely and do the exercises within.  As a psychotherapist and schooled as a lawyer and as a Rabbi (though the book doesn't mention that he serves as one), Yisroel Roll puts in plain and simple terms, with tangible examples, the tools of communication.  Use "I" instead of "you" as in "I feel embarrassed" rather than "you embarrass me", for example.  There are so many relevant suggestions and exercises for relationships, both marital and parental, that will aid the reader in developing strong and trusting relationships.  Yisroel Roll notes that most marriages he consults on have difficulties because one or the other of the couple has a low self-esteem.  Taking it from this standpoint, he offers exercises to build esteem (a good exercise for everyone as we all go through trials that shake our feelings of adequacy and self-worth), emphasizing the good and building upon these traits to build the individual up.

Read more: My Bookshelf

Shut Up and

Stay Married

Seminar

Sunday

February 9, 2014

You will learn to:

  • Build your self esteem
  • Have empathy for your spouse
  • Be in Love Again
  • Focus on the good
  • Not respond in anger
  • Stop taking pot shots at your spouse
  • Speak in intimate way
  • Revive your marriage
  • Communicate Effectively

Spaces are limited

Attend as a couple or on your own

Couples work is preferred

Seminar Leader:
Rabbi Yisroel Roll, LCPC

Motivational Speaker
Marriage Therapist
Self Esteem Expert